How does a normal person close this silly account?  I've spent hours over the course of two weeks trying to cancel it but to no avail.  I've followed all the links and have come up empty, e.g., cancel you MS services or accounts.  I don't have any.  Please help, I need a hero with a silver bullet to put this behemoth down for good.  Thank you. 

Original title: Hotmail Hassle