How do I reactivate my msn account that was accidently closed, and now it says it no longer exists??

I have searched the threads and all it says is that Microsoft replied privately....so can some one please respond to me also?  I deleted my primary email address when trying to simply deactivate it (which appears to no longer be possible).  I was only trying to reverse all of my emails going to Outlook.com and showing as already opened when they appeared on my smartphone.  Now I cannot register my original email address (error message tells me it is NOT AVAILABLE).  I had to use this alias, which is not good because I only created it to avoid spam....Can someone please tell me how I can reregister my REAL email address?  Thank you.