Calendar requests very slow to action

I am running Outlook 2011 on my Mac and connecting to an exchnage serve in the US.

for some reason every time I get a calendar request, or simply access my calendar locally I get the spinning wheel of death for anything up to 5 minutes.

Eventually, if I'm patient, the meeting reesyed comes up, then once I press accept the wheel comes back for 1-3 minutes.

I have turned of all sync services between ical and outlook, but it still keeps happening.

I have rebuilt my identity multiple times, no change.

also the finder shows hundreds of OLK14_messages and notes

any help would be greatly appreciated.